Don't you send me to vm
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
