Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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