I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
