im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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