Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Randomize
