he shaved USA in his pubs
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Houston, we have a blender
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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