Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
