so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
