3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
