Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
