I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
