I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
