the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
ttyl tear gas
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
