guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
