Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
