Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
this will be a night to untag.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
