Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
