my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
