I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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