you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
