My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
