Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
