Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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