wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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