If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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