just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
