I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
