Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Can I color on your dick again?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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