like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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