You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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