with your own penis?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
