I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
