DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
