If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
