i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
