Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
