Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
