There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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