He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
