just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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