So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
