; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
