can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
