White coat. Heels.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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