i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
