She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
