im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
