Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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