Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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