So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
